So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
