Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
