I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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