the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pants are for mortals
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
