I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
