Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
