don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize