Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
