i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
