I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
