We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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