Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
