how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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