this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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