You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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