I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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