In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
A+ Viking dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
