your room smells of hookers.
And success
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
