I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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