apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
