How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
