ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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