I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
