I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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