My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
