So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
