Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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