It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
