I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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