Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm always down for nudity.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
