i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
