i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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