Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
