i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
