Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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