My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
