pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
bring money and cleavage
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
