how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
