Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
