His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
