I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
