all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize