i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
