dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
