im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
