Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
