why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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