a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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