You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
