it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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