So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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