I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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