Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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