it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
