I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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