K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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