Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
