apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
NoShamevember. You game?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
