whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
