I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
