buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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